Paranoid Parrot

Brushed up against at concert immediately check pocket for wallet

Brushed up against at concert immediately check pocket for wallet  Paranoid Parrot

Home alone at night? Better turn every light in the house on

Home alone at night? Better turn every light in the house on  Paranoid Parrot

Posts funny picture on facebook Feels his sense of humor is been judged by everybody

Posts funny picture on facebook Feels his sense of humor is been judged by everybody  Paranoid Parrot

walking out of the store after browsing and not finding what I want they think im shoplifting

walking out of the store after browsing and not finding what I want they think im shoplifting  Paranoid Parrot

Got nudes from my GF randomly They weren't meant for me

Got nudes from my GF randomly They weren't meant for me  Paranoid Parrot

Roommate dropped the shampoo bottle in the shower Oh fuck. Hes dead.

Roommate dropped the shampoo bottle in the shower Oh fuck. Hes dead.  Paranoid Parrot

types a really complicated word and no spell check show up better mess it up by entering a letter at the end to make sure it's working and the word's spelled correctly

types a really complicated word and no spell check show up better mess it up by entering a letter at the end to make sure it's working and the word's spelled correctly  Paranoid Parrot

Destroyed expired credit card Break it down in several pieces and throw them in different trash cans so no one can put it back together

Destroyed expired credit card Break it down in several pieces and throw them in different trash cans so no one can put it back together  Paranoid Parrot

introduced two of my friends to each other now worried they'll be better friends with each other than with me

introduced two of my friends to each other now worried they'll be better friends with each other than with me  Paranoid Parrot

Friend says he will pick me up at 9:00 It's 9:08. He isn't coming.

Friend says he will pick me up at 9:00 It's 9:08. He isn't coming.  Paranoid Parrot