Paranoid Parrot

Crossing a one-way street Looks both ways

Crossing a one-way street Looks both ways  Paranoid Parrot

Hits snooze on on the alarm clock Spends the next 9 minutes wide awake worrying it accidently turned off

Hits snooze on on the alarm clock Spends the next 9 minutes wide awake worrying it accidently turned off   Paranoid Parrot

farts in public when it's cold out checks ass to see if steam came out

farts in public when it's cold out checks ass to see if steam came out  Paranoid Parrot

Read about diseases with one in a million prevalence Convinced I have at least six of them

Read about diseases with one in a million prevalence  Convinced I have at least six of them  Paranoid Parrot

Slight chest discomfort Better write my will

Slight chest discomfort Better write my will  Paranoid Parrot

3+5? Better use calculator

3+5? Better use calculator  Paranoid Parrot

Game Auto-Saves Better save it manually just to be sure

Game Auto-Saves Better save it manually just to be sure  Paranoid Parrot

in a room full of people and I need to clear my throat better hold it, or they'll think I have something to say

in a room full of people and I need to clear my throat better hold it, or they'll think I have something to say  Paranoid Parrot

Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds

Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds  Paranoid Parrot

Thinks something insulting about a stranger Immediately thinks nice things in case they can read minds

Thinks something insulting about a stranger Immediately thinks nice things in case they can read minds  Paranoid Parrot