115,627 shares
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Not as forever alone with a pet...
12,889 shares
Asked to be the 6th groomsman in friend's wedding There are 5 bridesmaids
205,568 shares
Forgot to put phone on silent at the movie theater Didn't matter
285,626 shares
Last time i got some ass my fingers went through the toilet paper
246,516 shares
I paid off all my debts Now no one calls me
wins a trip for two to hawaii goes twice
124,550 shares
received one text all day: Walgreen's reminder to refill anti-depressants
239,098 shares
flipping a coin my best chances of getting head
49,053 shares
Commits crime still not wanted
53,432 shares
finally receives a text "Your verizon bill is now available"
151,850 shares
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