115,809 shares
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Not as forever alone with a pet...
13,039 shares
Asked to be the 6th groomsman in friend's wedding There are 5 bridesmaids
205,760 shares
Forgot to put phone on silent at the movie theater Didn't matter
285,818 shares
Last time i got some ass my fingers went through the toilet paper
246,731 shares
I paid off all my debts Now no one calls me
wins a trip for two to hawaii goes twice
124,721 shares
received one text all day: Walgreen's reminder to refill anti-depressants
239,293 shares
flipping a coin my best chances of getting head
49,224 shares
Commits crime still not wanted
53,643 shares
finally receives a text "Your verizon bill is now available"
152,072 shares
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